Farkle Nation is the phrase used to describe the persistent self-proclaimed goal of Farkle Minkus seeking to find great acclaim and someday rule the world in Girl Meets World.
Farkle first reveals his dream to control the world, during his "Farkle Time" defending the prevalence of the advanced electrical conveniences of modern life against Mr. Matthews assertion that it has hampered the ability of his fellow students and himself, to develop as human beings, by proclaiming that it is only inevitable that technology and Farkle will dominate the future. But after working on the ensuing assignment with Maya Farkle acknowledges the teacher's point ("Girl Meets Boy "). After disrupting the Seventh Grade production of Romeo and Juliet Farkle is greeted by annoyed silence from the crowd, but Riley
Birth Of A Farkle Nation
gently persuades the mixture of students, parents, and faculty to produce a modicum of applause. Still, it is enough to inspire Farkle to procure a cane, and while still garbed in his spear carrier costume, perform a tap dance to further entertain the newly minted members of "Farkle Nation" (Girl Meets the Truth ). Farkle's self-referential conclusion in his side of the debate on the topic of school uniforms, doubtlessly contributed to his defeat at the hands of his academic arch nemesis, Isadora Smackle
Farkle Debates
of Einstein Academy (Girl Meets Smackle ). When Farkle allows the lure of conquering the (mock) business world to justify treating his friends Riley, Maya, and Lucas shabbily,
Farkle Hunt
Evelyn Rand, chairperson of Rand Industries, makes it her personal mission to set "the Farkle" straight with advice on how to practice good business and on living life (Girl Meets Crazy Hat). On Halloween, after facing and triumphing over his fear of playing softball, by getting a hit off the unhittable Maya, Farkle greets Farkle Nation atop the
Greeting Farkle Nation
shoulders of Lucas, parading victoriously down the school hallways (Girl Meets World: Of Terror ). When Billy, fails to see how Farkle and Lucas can be friends, Lucas acknowledges that Farkle wanting to rule the world is a bit strange, but at the same time, the Texan is curious to see what Farkle could accomplish (Girl Meets Flaws ). In the Seventh Grade Elections Farkle opts to run as the Dictator of Farkle Nation.
Dictator Farkle & Dictatorettes
Enlisting Sarah and Darby to serve as the "New Farkle Nation Dictatorettes," and a steady supply of Farkle Nation emblazoned T-shirts from his Uncle Morty, he initially succeeds in creating a huge groundswell of support among the students. But when his attack ad against Riley erodes his popularity, even Farkle appears to regret what he did. After Riley and Maya present the message from Lucas' friends in Texas, Farkle realizes he no longer wants to be a dictator, as they have no real friends. Upon winning the election, Lucas appoints Farkle to be his vice president. Farkle thanks his friend, but begins staring at Lucas with a power-hungry glint in his eyes (Girl Meets Friendship ). When Mr. Matthews allows Farkle and his friends to stage a skit which
Royal Refusal
loosely depicts the circumstances which led to the American Revolution, Farkle absolutely revels in his role of King George III, the then ruler of the British Empire (ironically a role his own father, Stuart , had once played against Mr. Matthews' George Washington as youths in class with Mr. Feeny , but with far less exuberance). He perhaps plays the part bit too enthusiastically, as he goes as far to contact his "Cannon Guy" to arrange a large realistic prop weapon brought to class. Afterwards, when the friends exit the History classroom, Lucas, (despite still wearing the tri-cornered hat part of his own General George Washington costume) tells Farkle to take the crown off his royal regalia, which Farkle flatly refuses - thrice (Girl Meets Game Night ). Early in the Eighth Grade, after a major dispute
Ever Think Of Ruling The World?
arises between Riley and Maya, her father summons his older brother, Eric Matthews to mediate their conflict. Invited to speak with their History class, Eric gets the girls and Farkle to confess and accept their insecurites. Farkle reveals his drive to dominate the world comes from the feeling that sometimes he is "Squeaky the Mouse," which the arrival of the "Freak"-like Lucas has only exasperated. The next day at Topanga's, Farkle, impressed by his people skills, asks Eric, (now dressed in the outlandish garments he wears as the duly elected Mayor of St. Upidtown, New York) asks if he ever considered ruling the world. The idea does seem to give Eric Matthews something intriguing to ponder (Girl Meets Mr. Squirrels). Some months later, as the History class is dismissing the relevance of the upcoming elections because they cannot yet vote, Farkle admits that sometimes the current condition of the world makes him reconsider his wish to rule it, and suggests that he and Riley instead make a life together on Mars. Eric Matthews then enters and annouces he is running for US Senator for the state of New York. Eric recruits Riley, Maya, Farkle and Lucas to guide he campaign, as he sees them as the future. They are soon joined by T.J. Murphy , the political blogger who uncovered the financial malfeasance which has caused the popularity of the incumbent Senator, Jefferson Davis Graham to nosedive. This inspires the kids to become more politically aware. An inspired Farkle then claims that for the sake of the future eleven kids he plans to have with Riley and Maya (he leaves the distribution of childbirth to the settled between the pair) they need to improve the world before he rules it. However, the revelation that Riley's uncle has been set
Let's Do This Thing!
up as political cannon fodder by Zachary T. Wolff , a crony of Sentator Graham, to ensure the party nomination for his candidiate, drives Eric to quit. However, Riley and Maya convince Eric that their future is worth fighting for, and Eric faces Graham at the sole debate of the campaign to be held at John Quincy Adams. The debate reaches a critical point when Graham questions Eric's devotion to children when he has none of his own, and thus has no real proof of his convictions. However, T.J. Murphy refutes that charge, by revealing that years before, he had been an orphan simply named Tommy, whom Eric almost adopted, but realized that he couldn't provide the stable environment the boy deserved at the time, and stepped away, allowing the Murphys to adopt Tommy and give him the home he needed. As the old friends embrace to a standing ovation, a stymied Wolff silently slips away. Before the embarrassed Senator follows him out, Farkle declares that the world is worth staying upon and ruling over, by declaring, "You, me. Earth--let's do this thing!" (Girl Meets Mr. Squirrels Goes to Washington ).
Take Over Himself... Then The World
When yearbooks are passed out, Farkle, once again, is voted "Most Likely To Be Farkle." He then decides to adopt an alternate persona "Donnie Barnes:Regular Guy" (he even arranges to have a desk nameplate made with this name). After Riley and Maya weather their own identity crises, Farkle decides to reclaim his name, but keep his new fashion sense. While talking things over with Lucas, Farkle confesses a need to experiment with his personality, stating he needs to rule himself, before continuing his goal to rule the world (Girl Meets Yearbook). When the results
An Aptitude For Ruling The World
of the school-wide aptitude tests have been determined, the JQA Guidence Counselor, Ms. Oben, takes it upon herself to personally inform Farkle that he has achieved a genius-level score. Farkle is not surprised, and requests to know what occupation the test states is best for him. Admitting that she has never seen this particular choice ever appear for a student, she reveals that his intelligence and abilities make Farkle Minkus ideally suited for someday ruling the world (Girl Meets Farkle).
Farkle Doesn't Want To Rule With Factory Girl & Potato Head
After Maya is brought before the John Quincy Adams Honor Board for cheating on a test off Farkle, Riley apparently proves Maya's claim that she learns best that way. Joining her friends, Riley extols the virtues of sharing information. The next day, Mr. Matthews teaches a lesson on Communism, pointing out under such a political system, occupations are based on societal needs, not individual abilities, selecting factory worker and potato farmer for Riley and Maya, respectively. When Farkle asks whether he can still take over the world while as a communist, his teacher answers affirmatively, but he must do so collectively as part of a group. Farkle objects, flatly stating he does not want to rule the world with "Factory Girl" and "Potato Head" at his side (Girl Meets Commonism).
Taking Over The World Is A One Person Operation
In a reality where Riley and Maya did not become childhood friemds, Farkle and Isadora Smackle still attend Abigail Adams High School. After they collide in the hallway and both fall to the floor, Smackle asks Farkle if they could ever become more than each others Arch-Nemesis. Farkle replies that his goal of one day taking over the world is a one person operation. Wistfully, Smackle notes that sounds lonely. Farkle agrees, but states that is just the way things are (Girl Meets World: Of Terror 3 ).
With all due respect to history, Mr. Matthews. What's important to our generation will be on this side of the timeline... when Farkle and technology rule.
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—Farkle establishing the mission statement of Farkle Nation
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In conclusion, school uniforms reduce individuality, which will be unnecessary in the real world, when you're all working for me...
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—Farkle debating the value of school uniforms.
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He does want to take over the world and everything, but frankly, I'd like to see what he does with it.
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—Lucas describing Farkle Nation to Billy Ross
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I am Farkle and these are the Dictatorettes. They are part of the New Farkle Nation. How would you like to be part of the New Farkle Nation?
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—Farkle beginning his campaign to become Seventh Grade Dictator
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Dictatorettes, give the peoples what they want.
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—Farkle before free shirts are tossed to the crowd
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Holy moley! I got me an army!
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—Farkle before being carried into the chanting crowd
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I don't wanna be dictator anymore. Dictators don't have any friends.
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—Farkle dropping out of the election
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But sometimes I wonder if my desire for world domination actually comes from deep down feeling like I'm "Squeaky the Mouse."
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—Farkle
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We need to treat this planet better. I don't want to go to Mars. I want to rule an Earth with good air and good water. A good Earth for our children.
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—Farkle
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I want to take over myself first. But, then yeah, the world.
I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that I’m working on a new serum I call “Running Juice.” The bad news is that I think it may need some more work. I’ve created a concoction that was supposed to give me super speed to help me run faster in gym class. Like a real superpower. The problem is that instead, it gives me little bursts of energy that make me want to run down the block and back. I’m typing this post at like 1,000 words per second. It was fun at first, but now I’m pretty tired. I think maybe I should go back to the drawing board on this one. But first, a short run across town.
I’m not trying to brag here, but I feel like I’ve accomplished a decent amount of successes in my little time thus far here on earth. Therefore I’ve decided that I am going to write an autobiography. Even though I continually get snubbed at The Buggys, I still have a plethora of inventions and discoveries to be proud of. It is not every day that you are given the John Quincy Adams Lifetime Achievement award in the science department or discover a breakthrough in time travel. Well, I’m actually still working on that last one. But hey, I figure I can publish a volume set of my autobiography as I continue on with my life. Maybe every five years? Maybe even every year! Especially once I figure out that time travel thing.
Howdy y’all! I’m blogging to you from the Wild West... also known as Texas. These here folks are my kinda people. Lukey and Zay are showin’ me a ropin’ good time. We’re checkin’ out the eats’, the music scene, and of course the purdy Texas gals. I fit right in. Almost like I grew up here, don’t’cha think? By the way, did you know that Texas used to be its own country? I like the sound of that, my Farkle Nation followers. Oh boy, Pappy Joe is ringin’ the dinner bell. Off to supper, I go… Yeeeeeehaw!!!!
Gimme an F. Gimme an A. Gimme and R-K-L-E!! What’s that spell? Farkle!!! Riley is trying really hard this year to make the cheerleader’s squad. I believe in her. I really do. But I also am looking to hire my own personal cheerleader to follow me around and pep me up during my day. Imagine: You are sitting at your desk doing your homework and you get stumped on one of those really difficult math equations from Ms. Kravitz’s class. Then out of nowhere a cheerleader pops out to cheer you on to the finish line. “You got this, Farkle!” “No one is smarter than you!!” “You eat math problems like this for breakfast!!!!” Sometimes even I like to have that extra vote of confidence when faced with a tough decision. What do you think? Do you want to be on the Farkle Cheer Squad?
This year for Halloween, a bunch of us from John Q. Adams are gonna go attend the Central Park Halloween Spooktacular. The real question is what to dress up as? I was thinking about going as an evil mad scientist. I already have the lab coat, goggles, and a crazy wig. Don’t ask why I already have a crazy wig. I just need a Frankenstein Monster to follow me around for the evening. Any one of ya fit the description???
Have you heard of a place called Rileytown? I’m sure you have. I have a plan in motion. Want to hear about it? This is top secret so don’t spill it. Ready?? I am going to overthrow Rileytown in order to expand Farkle Nation. But before we can plan any further, I must first find my map to Rileytown…where did I put that thing? I know, I’ll ask Riley!
You know what my new favorite thing is? Sports. All sports! Let’s shoot some hoops. Slap some stick. Play some catch. See, I know the sports lingo. Lucas helped show me that you don’t have to be great at a sport to love it. And hey, I think I may try out for the John Quincy Adams bowling team. There is a sport out there for everybody! So get out there and show off your team spirit! See if you can out-play Farkle! HAAAH!
I’ve been saying it for years and finally I have proof! I, Farkle Minkus, am a genius. Thank you to those who finally have recognized my brain capacity. If you didn’t attend my genius party, we still have a few leftover penguin party favors. I do have to advise you against actually dressing your penguin up in a tuxedo. They do not take well to that very much.
I’m thinking about starting a band. I’ll probably call it The Farkles. I will be the lead singer and the lead guitarist. I will also be the drummer, bassist, sax player, keyboardist, and tambourine player. Oh, and naturally, I’ll be the band’s manager. Oh yeah, and I’ll drive our bus cross country for all of our tours. And I’ll be the number one roadie-fan that attends every concert, front row, center. I hope I can get an autograph! Sounds like I’ve got my work cut out for me.
Have you ever wanted to make some extra cash? I’m thinking about opening a lemonade stand to earn some easy bucks. On a hot summer day, I project that I could make a nice buddle of dough. Except anyone can sell lemonade. I think that instead I will sell watermelon juice! Oh yeah, that will hit the spot on a hot summer day. But first, I have to figure out how to turn my lemon juicer machine into a watermelon juicer machine. I think I may need to find a bigger lemon juicer… or figure out how to grow tiny watermelons…
I’m scared of three things in life. Butterflies. Maya sometimes. And the school Semi-Formal dance. It is kind of a big deal. Who do I go with? What do I wear? Where do I put my hands???? My hands are sweating just thinking about this kind of pressure. Oh no! My keyboard is getting so slippery and I am having trouble typindaxzxcxzzzzzzz
Yearbook pictures. Love them or hate them? Something always goes wrong for me. I sneeze. I blink. No matter what I do, my pictures always turn out bad. And that is the reason why I wish my parents gave me a twin brother. That way he could just take the photo for me. Hmmmm…. actually that gives me an idea. Back to the laboratory!
It is that time of the month again for Farkle Nation’s Fan Mail! We have been overflowing with letters from members and fans. Thank you for all your support.
This letter comes from Jake S. from Chicago. He asks, “If you could meet anybody in the world, who would it be and why?” Well, Jacob. That answer is quite simple. It would be Farkle. Once I put the finishing touches on my time machine, I will travel to the future to enjoy a slushie with my future self. I will ask Farkle how Farkle Nation is doing, what tips Future Farkle has for Present Day Farkle (Me) on ruling the world, and I will also see who wins the Nobel Prize in Physics for the next ten years. Of course seeing my future self may create a disruption in the space time continuum destroying everything we call life, but hey… I think it is worth the risk.
Have you ever been given a big responsibility that you didn’t know if you could handle? Mr. Matthews had us take home the class fish, Chelsea, as a way to teach us responsibility. Let’s just say, if I ever failed at something, it was taking care of this poor little fishy. No one told me that you shouldn’t take a fish for a walk. Or take her to the beach to build her a sandcastle. Or to the park to play on the swings. Guess you can’t teach a fish new tricks. All I’m saying is it would have been nice if she came with some instructions like my cat Fluffy. “Do: pet Fluffy slowly and as much as possible. Don’t: ever get another cat because Fluffy doesn’t do sharing.”
Most educators like me. In fact, they all love me. Some even call me a Teacher’s Pet. And Mr. Matthews lets me teach his class half of the time. I can’t help it if I’m really smart. Might as well share my brain with my fellow students!. But there is one person at John Quincy Adams that I know despises me. His name…. Principal Yancy! What did I ever do to make the principal of JQA my nemesis? Oh yeah. It was probably that time Maya dared me to put some crickets in Principal Yancy’s quiet undisturbed office. Poor, poor Principal Yancy. He never gets a moment of silence because there is always a cricket chirping somewhere in his office!
Fact: I have a big brain. Fact: I am very smart. Fact: The above mentioned is no secret.
I’m not bringing this up to brag. Recently I’ve become interested in the kind of image I give off. Riley’s uncle Eric thinks I am a robot, but he can’t be right, can he? What do you think? He has to be kidding… I mean, to think that a boy can be a robot… that’s just nonsense. I mean I would probably know if I was a robot. I would have to power down and plug in to recharge. I wouldn’t be able to feel emotion and, trust me, I’ve got a lot of emotion for Riley and Maya. What if I am artificial intelligence and I don’t even know? Is there any chance Eric is right? I still can’t find my birth certificate. Maybe I better go talk to my dad just in case. Oh no. Maybe he is a robot too! What if I come from a family of robots? Excuse me…I have some computing to do. Beep, Bop, Beep.
The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays. Fireworks. BBQ picnics. Friends. What more could you ask for? My favorite part is the wheelbarrow race where one team member holds the legs of another team member and walks him or her down the lane like a wheelbarrow. It is pretty silly when you think about it, but still really fun! Lucas is my partner this year and we have been practicing all week long to beat Riley and Maya. I am determined to carry Lucas’ feet across that finish line and win first place! We even came up with a secret strategy where Lucas puts on some gardening gloves to get a better grip on the ground. I hope that Riley and Maya don’t see this post and steal our top secret plan. Riley or Maya if you are reading this, disregard this. It is a trap to slow you down. Or is it? You’ll never know….mwahaha! Victory will be ours for sure! Well, gotta go meet the gang in Central Park for our picnic and fireworks. Wish me luck and have fun, guys!
Greetings Farkle Nation. I’ve been receiving oodles and oodles of Farkle Nation fan mail, so I thought I would take a moment to pick one out and read it to you.
George S. from Texas asks: “What is it like to have a following of people?” Well, Georgey, it is quite fun. It is a little like being the king of the sandbox castle. Having a following really comes in handy. For example, if I didn’t have you guys, who would read this blog? My cat, Fluffy? That’s just silly…cats can’t read! So, thank you for being a part of my sandbox castle. Maybe if you are lucky, I’ll put down the drawbridge so that my alligator-infested moat does you no harm. Thanks for writing in Georgey! Keep them coming my Farkleites!
Zay found this really cool restaurant that he took us to this past weekend over on Broadway. He showed us how to order off of their secret menu, which was basically an unwritten menu that you have to know about to order from. Zay recommended I order their D.B.R. I ordered it and had no idea what to expect. Then, from out of the kitchen came a gigantic stack of pancakes! Literally they were the size of my face. They were so big that they were hanging over the plate. And boy, were they delicious! Oh and I found out what the D.B.R. stood for: Double Bubble Rubble… because the secret ingredient is chunks of bubble gum! I’ll be going back. Maybe I’ll take you.
HELP! The walls are closing in. Time is at a standstill. What did I do to deserve this kind of torture? Sweat is dripping down my face....man, it is hot in here. Is it normally this hot? My mouth is sooooo dry. I would give anything for just a drop of water to quench my thirst. I’ve never been this thirsty in my whole life. Am I hallucinating or is this real life? I feel so alone. Darkness fills the room... Must. Survive. This.
Suddenly, there is a gust of wind. I open my eyes. Maya is standing in front of me, asking me to join her in Mayaville. Desks turned over. Riley’s hands are folded like so. But Mayaville. Maybe detention won’t be so bad after all?
There is a new student in class named Zay. Turns out, he is an old friend of Lucas’ back when he lived in Texas. It seems like they are pretty close friends, which is nice because it is always hard to be the new kid in class. WAITAMINUTE. If Lucas’ old best friend is now here where his new best friend lives, does that mean that his old best friend now becomes his new best friend and his old new best friend just becomes a regular friend that you see at school and occasionally give a small head nod to in the hallway? That could never happen, right? I mean Lucas can have more than one best friend. Because it takes a long time to find a new best friend again. I mean there are the background checks, the interview process, and of course the training boot camps. I can’t go through that again. Don’t have time. Do you think I am being overly paranoid???
Have you ever tried to learn a new language? It is pretty hard, right? They say the younger you study a language, the easier it is to learn it. That’s probably why I’ve been able to become fluent in English, Spanish, French, German, Dutch and Portuguese by middle school. I hope to have Mandarin Chinese and Russian down by the end of this year. Then I think I’ll create my own language… ya know, for when Farkle Nation takes over the world and all people speak “Farkle”. Don’t worry though. I’ll be sure to teach you enough to get yourself around town. Here are your first few lessons. First lesson – To say “Where is the bathroom” in Farkle, you say “Where is the Farkle?” To say “What is for lunch?” you would say “What is for Farkle?” To say, “Hello, my name is (your name)” it is “Hello, my name is Farkle.”
Have you ever been to a summer camp before? Smackle and I signed up for a really cool science camp. We are going to use dry ice and conduct experiments and make stuff explode. It will be nice to be around people of my own intellect. Not that I’m saying you aren’t as smart as me. But let’s face it, you aren’t. So I guess I am in fact saying that. You could still come to summer camp with us though. Think about it because I could always use a minion to test my experiments on. Like my anti-gravity serum. Good news is if it finally works, you can fly anywhere. And if it doesn’t…. well, you’ll still be at summer camp.
Yep….we finally tied the knot. Maya and I got married! I was nervous at first. But then I thought about how Maya would serve as a great princess warrior to my kingdom when Farkle Nation takes over the world. Then all my nerves were gone. But don’t think that just because Maya and I are married, that doesn’t mean I don’t still want to marry Riley. See, in Farkle Nation there is a law that allows a Farkle to marry a Maya and a Riley. Plus, I think both girls would be okay sharing me as a husband. Don’t you? And just think….then there would be double the Minkii! In other news, at our next town hall meeting we will be voting in a new law about Turtleneck Tuesdays. Don’t miss it!
Have you ever wondered about alternate universes? I mean there is just so much we don’t know about science and space and black holes. I know I always talk about being the one and only Farkle, but what if in some other classroom, in some other school, on some other planet, in some other galaxy, in some other universe, millions of light years away, an Alterna-Farkle exists? What if there is an Alterna-Farkle that has his own blog dedicated to his unusual viewpoints on life? Or worse….what if he doesn’t wear turtlenecks?! Maybe he wears plaid button down shirts with bell-bottom jeans. Oh no! Wait…what if there is an Alterna-Farkle trying to start up his own Farkle Nation to take over his world. Wait a minute. What if I am the Alterna-Farkle!!!……………………………….mind blown.
I think we should start a Farkle Nation clothing line. I’ve already got seven t-shirts with my face on them….one for each day of the week. You should too! What else should we make? Cell phone cases? Maybe backpacks? We could go even bigger. How about….a rocket ship! Yeah, with the Farkle Nation flag on it – FNASA: Farkle Nation Aeronautics and Space Administration. Now we’re on to something!
I went to go see a movie over the weekend with Lucas. We got one of those extra large tubs of popcorn to share. It cost both of our week’s allowance combined, but ya know that buttery goodness is always worth it. It is so irresistible and YUUUUUUUUUUMMY! So we sat down in the theater, popcorn ready to go, and the movie began. Ten minutes in and guess what happened! Lucas got scared. Popcorn went everywhere. I was like, in slow motion, “NOOOOOOOOOOO”, while trying to catch as many kernels of popcorn in the air to stuff in my face! I got like three. I’m pretty sure Lucas was scared of the animated butterflies in the film. Or it could have been the big guy behind him who kicked his chair. Either one, really.
Geralyn, the lunch lady, prepared my favorite meal today…pizza! That cheesy goodness, tomato-y sauciness, and sweet chewy crust. Oh man, I could eat pizza for days. A classic slice of cheese pizza usually does the trick for me, but sometimes I feel adventurous and like to try new, strange tastes. Have you ever dipped your pizza into BBQ sauce? How about adding corn or even fish as a topping?! When I take over the world, the first thing I’ll do is open up a pizza restaurant. Geralyn can work there as the top chef and help me come up with new interesting pizza flavors. Maybe I’ll even hire you…that is, if you know what a slice of good pizza tastes like. HAAAHH!
Have you ever been to South Dakota to see Mt. Rushmore? I went once with my dad and ever since my visit there, all I’ve dreamed about is to have my face next to those great presidents. I can see it now… George Washington, Tom Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, Abe Lincoln and then me, Farkle Minkus. I don’t really want to be the President of the United States, but when Farkle Nation rules the world, it will be cool to have my face on a mountain. I hope they get my eyebrows right!
Dear Farkle Nation: It is with deep regret that I must inform you that Farkle Nation is being shut down. I’ve decided that I don’t want to take over the world anymore. Instead, I would like to focus on my gardening. It is a lot less stressful than taking over the world. I’m sure you can agree. We had a good run and I appreciate your support along the way, but it is time that we go our separate ways…I will always remember you, my dear, sweet, sweet followers. Can you hear me crying? I am sad. Oh, and one last thing…..APRIL FOOLS! HAAAAAH Did I get you?
There is only one word to describe tonight. Magical. I went on my first date and it was perfect. I was really nervous but then I said to myself, "Farkle. You are an evil genius. You can handle one date." And I was okay until I saw her in the subway and became a little nervous again, so I said to myself, "Farkle. You've faced more powerful opponents than one simple date. You can do this." And then I felt a little bit better until she started walking towards me. And then I said to myself, "Farkle. You’re talking to yourself. Stop it." So then I started talking out loud. Everything moves in slow motion. And, well, the rest is, as they say, "history".
I just returned from the dentist, cavity-free. My pearly whites are as healthy as can be. I credit that to my latest invention, The Farkle Gum. See, I hate brushing my teeth. It is so annoying to do. So I came up with an alternative. I call it Farkle Gum. Farkle Gum is a square of toothpaste in the form of bubblegum. It comes in many flavors such as popcorn, hot dog, pizza, and my personal favorite, bacon flavor. You can even blow bubbles while cleaning your teeth!
Have you ever subscribed to a magazine? I was thinking about creating my own magazine. It would be called “Farkle Weekly”. In it, there would be articles and stories about how to be like me such as “How to Love Two Girls Equally” or “Top Ten Ways to Take Over the World.” I would even let you write an article if you wanted….As long as it was about me, of course. Would you subscribe to “Farkle Weekly”?
Whenever I take a selfie in front of a mirror, my phone gets in the way of the picture. That is why I have invented something called a Selfie Mirror (patent pending). This mirror is like any other mirror you would find in a bedroom, but it is equipped with a built in camera. All you have to do is say “Mirror Mirror, look at me. I’m the prettiest Farkle the eye can see” and FLASH! it snaps a picture. I’m working on a pocket version to send to the members of Farkle Nation.
Last night I had a dream that I was a chef at a restaurant called “Farkle’s Food Station.” Instead of trying to take over the world, I was trying to take over my customer’s bellies by serving outrageous food choices. The menu included mini-hamburger dog sliders, strawberry pizza, and spaghetti with falafel balls. But the most popular item of course was Waffle Taco Wednesday. I think I should cut back on the snacks before bed.
In honor of President’s Day this past week, Mr. Matthews gave us an assignment to research any leader from history. Some of my classmates researched a former United States President, others learned about Prime Ministers or Kings and Queens that ruled over other countries. Lucas took an interesting approach by reporting on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. talking about the Civil Rights Movement. But my report was the best by far. Guess who I interviewed? FARKLE! HAHHH!! When I take over the world, I think I will rename this holiday, “Farkle Day."
Every nation needs some sort of pledge of commitment from its followers. This is why I’m thinking of creating a National Anthem for Farkle Nation. How does this sound? “I pledge allegiance to The Farkle as part of the united front of Farkle Nation, to taking over the world as it stands, One Nation under Farkle, indivisible, with a bright future for all."
Well… I guess I got out-bugged once again by Smackle at The Buggie Awards. Maybe I should create a giant fly swatter so that next year I can crush her and then I’ll go “HAHHHHH!” Even though she once again defeated me, tonight wasn’t a complete waste. If there is one thing I will take away from The Buggies, it is the value of friendship. Riley and Maya have my back through good times and bad and in my book, a good friendship is worth more than a Buggie Award any day. So next time you are feeling down, defeated, or lost, just remember the value of a good friend. Hmmm….maybe I could keep Riley and Maya in a box like I did with my spider…
Have you ever wanted to be a part of a game show? I think it would be a lot of fun. Think about all the cool prizes you could win…and all that cash, cabbage, cheddah cheeze! Outsmart the competition in a trivia challenge? Not a problem. Guess the word puzzle? I solved it five letters ago. Spin that gigantic wheel? Piece of cake…I’ve already calculated the probability to land on a dollar! HAHHH!!! Maybe it would be more fun to just come up with my own game show… I would call it “Are you smarter than a Farkle?” Wanna play?
Dear Farkle Nation, I had a lot of fun playing “The Family Game” with the Matthews’ family. That inspired me to create my own game. Would you like to play it with me? It is simple, really. The name of the game is called, “Farkle Says”. Here are the rules: Rule #1: Do what Farkle says. Rule #2: Farkle says to follow Rule #1. This is fun, isn’t it? Thank you, Farkle Nation!
Chores. They never end. But at least I get a little bit of an allowance each week for cleaning up my room and helping around the house. Every Friday, I put half of my earnings into a jar labeled “The Farkle Fun Time Fund”. If my calculations are correct, only one hundred and eight more weeks until I have enough dough saved up to build my secret laboratory. My first experiment…cloning. That way Maya and Riley can finally stop fighting over me. I’m such a genius. But shhh! My laboratory is a secret so keep this between us, okay?
My dear members of Farkle Nation, Do you like to read? I love to read! When I was three, I memorized the entire dictionary. Sometimes for fun, I like to take my favorite books and insert “Farkle” into the title. Here are some examples: “The Farkle of Oz”, “Alice in Farkle-land”, “Farklestein”, “Romeo and Farkle-et”, and my all-time favorite, “The Adventures of Huckleberry Farkle” Who wouldn’t want to read those? HAHHHH! Thank you, Farkle Nation!
Take a big whiff. Do you smell that? It smells like… PEPPERMINT! That could only mean one thing. The holiday celebrations are upon us. Yaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!! I want to wish everyone in Farkle Nation a happy and joyful holiday season. I am grateful for your membership and I look forward to seeing what new heights, we, as Farkle Nation, can accomplish together in the New Year. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some presents to attend to.
I’m told that poetry runs in my family. My great grandfather, Ginsburg, used to have a Café in the 60’s where he would recite some of his poetry, so I decided to give it a try. Enjoy, ya cool cats. Thank you, Farkle Nation! Cue bongo drums, please….
Everyday I look and see,
A beautiful girl who sits in front of me.
This girl will always have my heart
Because she is pretty… and very smart.
When I take over the world, I will build a big, huge statue,
Which will show off my love for Riley Matthews.
Growing up with a unique name is the best part of Farkle Nation. I bet that everybody in Farkle Nation has a unique name. Do you know what your name means? Farkle means: To be a Farkle. Let’s use it in a sentence:
I am Farkle.
Now you try it with your own name.
Did you do it right? I am sure you did unless you said, “I am Farkle” because there is only one Farkle and it’s me.
Your name is one of the most important things about you because it was given to you by your parents. And every name means something. It might be something fun to talk about with them. You can post a comment below about what your name means and I will read it….unless your name is “Smackle.” A Smackle is someone who tries to outsmart a Farkle.
Every morning while I brush my hair, I pause for a moment and look in the mirror. I smile. And then I say, “Oh, Farkle. Why are you so dang beautiful!” Then I continue on with my day. It is a great way to start your morning. I highly recommend it. Except of course, you wouldn’t call yourself Farkle.
Step One: Self-appoint oneself to desired position by saying, “I am (Insert First Name) and as of (Insert current date and time), I am now ruler of (Insert school, country, body of people you wish to rule, etc.) Hence forth, all shall bow down to The Great (Insert Title of self-appointed position) (Insert First Name).”
Step Two: Come up with a catchy name for new school, country, or body of people you wish to rule. Brand it. “Farkle Nation. Yeah, I like the sound of that.”
Step Three: Gather a following. Gain their trust. Insider tip: Call your Uncle Morty in the T-shirt business for free stuff. Everybody likes free stuff.
Step Four: Destroy competition. Eat them for breakfast.
Step Five: Win.
Thank you, Farkle Nation!
Trivia[]
Each time Farkle has uttered the phrase, he has been wearing a costume.
