Interior. Riley's Bedroom. Maya and Riley are sitting on a window ledge.
Riley: You got any money?
Maya: I never have any money.
Riley: How do we make money immediately?
Maya: What we need is a Bat Mitzvah!
Riley: Are there any special requirements?
Maya: Yeah, and I'm thinking it's gonna need to be you.
Topanga: Get out! You guys have been sitting in that window all day. You know what's great about a window? There's a world outside. Go there.
Maya: (Both looks out the window) It looks fakey.
Topanga: Get out of my house!
Riley: Why don't I get a Bat Mitzvah?
Topanga: What's your Hebrew name?
Riley: Riley Matthews.
Topanga: There you go. What do you want a Bat Mitzvah for?
Riley: There comes a time in a young woman's life when she just wants to sit in a room and open envelopes.
Topanga: Riley, do you even know what this holy rite of passage is about?
Riley: Yes. This holy rite of passage is about 12 hours before you open the envelopes.
Topanga: What do you need money for?
Riley: Buy stuff.
Topanga: Specifically 
Riley: Buy stuff for me-e-e-e.
Topanga: Money needs to be worked for. It's pretty hard to come up with a scheme when all you've got is the clothes on your back, isn't it? (Exits)
Maya and Riley: (Looks at each other and nods)
Interior. Demolition, A vintage clothing store. Riley and Maya walk in with all their clothes in hand.
Riley: We'll like to sell all of our clothes, please!

(Enters from the back room) Well, you certaintly come to the right place.

Title sequence. Interior. Demolition. Riley and Maya are talking.
Maya: Okay, whatever she says, we're gonna triple it. We go triple, she hits us with a double, we take it and run, all right? I'm in charge here, just like I let you be in charge of the candy store, right?
Riley: Right. Triple the gummmies, double the jellys, and pay whatever they say, because it's candy.
Maya: Only I talk.
Riley: I'm sure that's best.
Aubrey: (To Yindra) Oh, Honey, I feel so bad you even bought that in the first place. I mean, it's not even a color. Look. I could give you ten bucks for it, 'cause, maybe we'll sell it for fifthteen. But how about i'll give you twelve? 'Cause, say, the next girl who walks through the doors is going to an ugly dress party, right? An optimist is what I am. So you give me that, I give you twelve bucks right now. You give me that. (Takes dress) You're welcome. (To Maya and Riley) Your turn.
Maya: Triple, double, run.
Riley: Yes, Ma'am.
Aubrey: Sup.
Riley: Sup.
Aubrey: I'll give you 38 bucks, the whole thing right now.
Maya: We'll take triple.
Riley: Now you go up to 76, because it's double, and we'll take it.
Aubrey: 38.
Riley: No.
Aubrey: 38.
Riley: She's not doing this right.
Aubrey: 24
Maya: What say we keep this between you and me?
Aubrey: What say.
Maya: You offered 38. It's worth double. You know it, I know it.

(To Riley) You know it?

Riley: I do candy.
Aubrey: I had a friend like her once.
Maya: What happened?
Aubrey: One day she floated away like a balloon.
Riley: I hold on tight.
Maya: Will you go 42 bucks?
Aubrey: Will you buy this dress?
Maya: Is this even a color?
Aubrey:  (Takes dress and walks over to Riley) This is the color of dreams, unicorns ballet dancing on a cloud. This is the color of hug, if that hug was given by everybody in the world at once, puppies. The angels call this color imaginatia. (Walks back over the counter)
Riley: May I please talk now?
Maya: Do you have something to say that won't hurt us?
Riley: I must have that dress.
Maya: Well, at least there's nothing worse you could possible say.
Riley: (Holds up credit card) Do you take this credit card my mom gave me for emergencies with a $500 limit on it? Because I need a dress for the spring formal, and I want that one. No other but that one.  So how much for the dress of hope?
Maya: Riley, she's a shark. She knows you want the dress. We're not going to afford any other clothes.
Aubrey: Well, I am shocked and offended you think so little of me.
Maya: Oh no.
Aubrey: Riley, I will let you have this dress for $50, if you say yes right this second.
Riley: Y-
Aubrey: 100.
Riley: Uh.
Aubrey: 200.
Riley: I think the numbers are going up.
Aubrey: 240.
Riley: I think that they're going up because they keep on going up, because i'm not saying yes, and they're going up and up.
Aubrey: Nine and up-
Riley: What is happening?
Aubrey:  300!
Rily: Deal. Because it was going to be more wasn't it?
Aubrey: Yeah, could've been. Yeah.
Riley: Ha-Ha!
Maya: (Mockingly) Huh-huh.
Riley: Do you have any shoes that go with imaginatia?
Aubrey: Oh, she is just the gift that just keeps giving, is'nt she?
Maya: (Nods)
Riley: How much for the shoes? Yes!
Interior. The Matthews' Apartment. 
Riley and Maya: (Enters and sits on the couch)
Maya: We sold all of our clothes.
Riley: My parents can never know about this.
Cory: (later that day) Are you out of your minds?
Maya: (stands up and walks to Cory) Okay. We got ourselves into this. We'll get ourselves out.
Cory: Yeah, that's a way to go stubborn in the face of stupid.
Maya: It's the only road I know.
Cory: There's another road.
Maya: There is no other road. See? 
Cory: There's another road. It lies at the corner of "young and vulnerable" and "ask for help".
Maya: I don't live there. You live there. (looks at Riley) Can you come up with something to get us out?
Riley: (stands up, walks over to Cory, hugs him) Daddy, please help us. We need you. We made a mistake.
Cory: Yeah, this is working. This will work every time with me.
Maya: It's great. I could never say something too desperate.
Riley:  (turns to face Maya) Would you rather face my mother, Topanga?
Maya:  (pushes Riley onto the couch and hugs Cory) Daddy, please help us. We need you. We made a mistake.
Cory: Okay, okay, all right. Listen. Clearly you both were taken advantage of. Now we're going to see how Cory Matthews responds when the people he cares about are taken advantage of. Are you ever going to do this again?
Maya: Yes.
Riley: No.
Cory: Okay. Let's go, anyways.
Interior. Demolition.
Cory: All right, girls, now who's talking?
Maya and Riley: You are.
Cory: Who's not talking? Well done. Now let's watch what happens when someone knows his way around the block come ridin' to the rescue of you two damsels in distress. (To Aubrey) All right, who is the big, bad salesgirl who took advantage of my little damsels?
Aubrey: I don't know. Who's the hip, handsome young guy who seems way too cool to be their dad?
Cory: (pauses and smiles) What?
Aubrey: I'm sorry. I just mean, how are you possibly not made up in euro retro with accents of Timberlake, since you have matching bodies?
Cory: I don't know. I am Timberlake! You know how many times I've driven past his billboard and thought, "It's me!" But no one's ever said it out loud before but you. 
Aubrey: And now that I've said it?
Cory: It feels right. Come on, let's dress me up.
Interior. The Matthews' Appartment.
Riley, Maya, and Cory: (enters)
Cory: Okay, a lot of bad stuff went down in the last hour.
Maya: What is wrong with you people?
Cory: The only good thing that came out of this is that i'm bringing sexy back.
Riley: Mom's gonna know.
Cory: She'll never know. I'm only wearing this with Shawn.
Topanga: (later that day) Are you out of your minds?
Cory: (stands up next to Topanga) Minds!
Topanga: You.
Cory: Yeah, okay. (Sits back down)
Topanga: Okay, I am going to give you one opportunity to tell me how it is possible that you spent, what, 80? 90?
Cory: (Whispers to Riley) okay, this is goig to be really bad.
Topanga: How much was that dress?
Riley: Nine, up, nine, up, 300!
Topanga: Riley, the credit card was for emergencies. I made that very clear. When is buying a dress ever an emergency?
Riley: have sold the rest of your clothes.
Topanga: Maya.
Maya: I got beat, okay? Demolition girl's better than me, okay? I mean, she's a pro. We all know Riley's a chump.
Riley: Hey!
Maya: There's an astronaut riding a horse. 
Riley: (Looks over and smiles)
Maya: But this salesgirl's the greatest scam artist i've ever seen.
Topanga: Cory?
Cory: I'm still not convinced this outfit isn't working for me.
Topanga: Let me assure you.
Cory: Well, then there's $1200 i'm never getting back.
Topanga: (Jaw drops)
Cory: (Attempts to close it several times)
Interior. Demolition.
Topanga: (To a customer) If i'm you, I leave right now while I still have clothes on my back.
Aubrey: You just inhibited trade. I could have you arrested.
Topanga: Please try.
Topanga: Topanga Matthews. I'm a partner at Elliot, brown and Montgomery.
Aubrey: This could be fun.
Topanga: Oh, it will be. What's your name?
Aubrey: Aubrey Macavoy.
Topanga: Well, Aubrey, according to municipal statue CP 4 64 'CP" standing for "Consumer protection," one has seven days for merchandise return and full refund. This stastue covers everybody, including mmy innocent, trusting daughter and my husband the dope.
Aubrey: He's cute.
Topanga: Thanks. How long did it take you to stuff him into that t-shirt?
Aubrey: I'm never doing that again.
Topanga: See, the thing about the law is, it protects the naive and simple from criminals who hide behind a sales counter.
Aubrey: All right, you're just upset about my taking advantage of your daughter.
Topanga: No, i'm still talking about my husband. For my daughter, i'm coming after you personally.
Aubrey: Turn your head slightly to the right.
Topanga: It's not going to work on me.
Aubrey: I just want you to see the sign. It's all used merchandise. (Topanga turns head to read the sign)
Topanga: The sign's too small and can be easily missed, your honor. Please prosecute to the offender to the full extent of the law.
Aubrey: Hold up, yur honor. Turn your head slightly to the left. (Topanga looks at another sign)
Topanga: Will you look at that?
Aubrey: See, my favorite municipal code is 424 no one shall prevent a store merchant from the active pursuuit of commerce according to law, which I make sure I stay just under the radar of. (Walks past Topanga to put clothes away) Nice playing with ya.
Topanga: (Walks over to Aubrey and helps her fold) You know, you'd make a pretty good lawyer if you weren't such a ciminal. How do you live with yourself?
Aubrey: Like this. I'm going to own this store one day. And when I do, i'm going to hire someone just like your daughter's friend to be the next me. I think she's got potential, don't you?
Topanga: Maya? No, Maya will never be like you.
Aubrey: Think so?
Topanga: No, she's got my daughter as a good influence. I want to speak to your manager.
Aubrey: (Walks back over to the counter) You know what? I can do better than that. How about I bring the owners out here? Ron! Hillary!
Topanga: What happened to you? Did'nt you have any good influences growing up?
Ron and Hillary: (Enters)
Aubrey: Yeah, I had these two right here. Ron, Hillary, the nice lawyer lady has a complaint about how I took advantage of her husband and daughter.
Hillary: How much advantage?
Topanga: $1700.
Hillary: Nice.
Topanga: No, I don't think you understand.
Ron: Let me see what you do. Your daughter comes in, eyes the size of saucers, looking for quick, easy money. We buy her clothes for cheap, we sell our clothes for not cheap, which keeps our clothes cool in all the saucer eyes of the current generation.
Topanga: (To Aubrey) These are terrible people. Do your parents know you work in a place like this?
Aubrey: (To Ron and Hillary) Mom, dad, I work in a place like this. (Ron and Hillary hug her)
Interior. Rileys' bedroom. Maya and Riley are sitting in the bay window.
Maya: We've lost.
Riley: She beat us. 
Maya: We got crushed.
Riley: I don't like it very much.
Maya: Have I let you down?
Riley: No, Peaches. How could you ever let me down?
Maya: What kind of bad influence am I on you if I let another bad influence be a better bad influence than me in your eyes?
Riley: Hey. I will never have a better wose influence than you.
Maya: Thanks. You will always be my favorite chump.
Riley: Thanks. Would I still be your favorite even if I wasn't a chump?
Maya: You will always be my favorite, no matter what you are.
Riley: Okay, good. Because I may have to not be a chump for a minute.
Maya: But then you will again?
Riley: I know you secretly like it.
Maya: I do.
Interior. Demolition.
Aubrey: (Phone rings) Demolition. All sales final.
Evelyn: You the pretty little redhead with the jazz singer voice?
Aubrey: Yeah, this is boo-dop, dee-deep, bah-dop, bah-dop, Aubrey.
Evelyn: You bought that uniquely colorful dress yeterday from my daughter. Paid a fair price, i'm sure.
Aubrey: All sales final.
Evelyn: That's a shame, because that dress is an heirloom. Been in my family for generations. I must have it back. I would pay you $2500 for it.
Aubrey:  (Picks up the phone) $4000, and it's all yours.
Evelyn: (Laughs) Aren't you a savvy little businesswoman? I don't like you at all.
Aubrey: Yeah, I get that alot. Look, i'll have to get the dress back here, 'Cause it's at the cleaner's.
Evelyn: If i'm paying you $4000, you have to have it back at the store by 5:00 today.
Aubrey: It'll be here. Really look forward to meeting you.

Mh-mmm, the feeling is mutual, i'm sure.

Interior. Demolition. Later that day.
Topanga: (Enters) So you had a change of heart? 
Aubrey: What can I say? You affected me. If you don't want the dress, the right thing to do is to cancel the charge.
Topanga: So we'll give you the dress and you'll credit the card?
Aubrey: $300 for the dress.
Riley: (Puts shoes on the counter) And 200 for the shoes.
Aubrey: Wait a minute.
Riley: (Puts Corys clothes onto the counter) And 1200 for my father's stuff.
Aubrey: No, we're just talking about the dress.
Riley: No, you're just talking about the dress. I'm talking about we also get our clothes back.
Aubrey: Well, what has gotten into you?
Maya: What has gotten into you?
Aubrey: Okay, I don't see the t-shirt here.
Cory: I can't get it off. It's part of my body now.
Evelyn: (Enters) How are y'all doing? (Chuckles) It's 5:00. You got my dress? (Walks over to Aubrey)
Aubrey: Hey, aren't you Evelyn Rand?
Evelyn: Yeah, you got my dress?
Aubrey: Hey, aren't you, a billionaire?
Evelyn: Yeah, just like one. You got my dress?
Riley: Not her dress. It's still-
Aubrey: Deal. Shoes, father's stuff, and the dress. Now you guys get all of your old stuff, and we are done with each other. (Takes dress) (Riley and Maya go collect their clothes) (To Evelyn) Yeah I got our dress. You got my $5000?
Evelyn: $4000, wasn't it?
Aubrey: It was before you were Evelyn Rand. Now you are. Now it's five.
Evelyn: (Laughs) (Walks over to Riley)  Ooh, you're right. She's a real hoot.
Aubrey: Wait, wait, you know her?
Evelyn: These two? Oh, Yeah. They're my old pals.
Maya: You did this?
Riley: I might have made a little phone call, yeah.
Maya: A pretty good scam for a chump.
Riley: Well, I have the best possible bad influence, don't I?
Maya: You did great.
Riley: Oh, it ain't over yet.
Evelyn: I'd like to speak to the owners, please.
Aubrey: I don't see why that's-
Evelyn: Owners, please!
Ron and Hillary: (Enters)
Hillary: What is going on out here?
Ron: All sales final.
Hillary: (Gasps) Aren't you Eveyln billionaire?
Evelyn: Yeah. How much do you want for this whole place?
Aubrey: Oh, this place is not for sale,
Evelyn: (Laughs) Oh that's cute. You believe there's a thing not for sale, you savvy little businesswoman. Well, you know what i'm gonna do? I'm just going to write a number on this little piece of paper, and we're just gonna see what's for sale.
Ron: No matter what number she writes, don't react.
Hillary: Have I ever reacted?
Ron: Not to me.
Aubrey: It doesn't matter what number you write, because this place is going to be mine someday. Right?
Evelyn: (Hands paper to Ron and Hillary)
Ron: Right, except-
Hillar: It's not our place anymore.
Evelyn: (Rips up paper) You are terrible people.
Ron: Wait, so you're not buying the store?
Evelyn: Please, I got closets bigger than this.
Aubrey: You guys would've sold me out.
Ron: I think we're all dissapointed here.
Hillary: Back to work, dear.
Ron and Hillary: (Exits)
Aubrey: You know, the dress really does brings out your eyes.
Evelyn: (Gives her a nasty look)
Aubrey: Not those eyes.
Evelyn: Look at me. I'm not buying anything you're selling, and neither will anybody else, except the kids you're taking advantage of.
Cory: Yeah.
Topamga: And dopes.
Cory: Yeah.
Evelyn: Wake up. Be better than what you are.
Aubrey: How'd you get to be who you are?
Evelyn: By knowing what goes around comes around, and that all sales are definitely not final. And the most important thing (Walks over to Riley and Maya)  I got friends who I can depend on and who can depend me. (To Riley and Maya) My littles dollies, you call me anytime you want, (To Riley) and you keep being who you are. (Exits)
Maya: Are we still who we are?
Riley: You're not such a bad influence.
Maya: Thanks. You're not such a chump.
Riley: Thanks.
Maya: (Looks over) There's a astronaut riding a horse.
Riley: I don't fall for that anymore.
Maya: (Turns Riley around)
Riley: Do you see it, too?
Maya: (Nods)
Riley: (Makes excited face)
Maya: It's beautiful. I must have it. How much is it?
Aubrey: Well, this is one of a kind. And so are you. It's yours. (Hands it to Riley) (Maya and Riley exits)
Interior. Matthews' apartment. Topanga, Riley, and Maya are folding their clothes.
Topangs: (Knocks one door) (Opens door)
Aubrey: You really think I could become a good lawyer?
Topanga: You've got skills, (Walks Aubrey in) but you use your skills against people. I use my skills to help people have a voice. You want to be a good lawyer, first you gotta be a good person. Do you want to be a good person?
Aubrey: How would I do that?
Maya: Well, first you find a friend like her, and never let her float away.
Aubrey: Can we talk about it? I could maybe use some new influences.
Riley: Oh, we have a great place to talk.
Topanga: Yeah. And we can stay there as long as you want. 
Riley, Maya, Topanga, and Aubrey. (Exits and walks to Riley's room)
Cory: Auggie, do you think that look worked for me?
Auggie: Yes, Mr. Timberlake. (Puts head on the table)
Cory: (Smiles)

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