Interior. John Quincy Adams Middle School hallway. Riley is watching a girl put makeup on.
Riley: Look at that ninth-grade woman! She's putting on makeup. We're going to be ninth-grade women someday!
Maya: This thing goes to ninth grade?
Riley: (Points to Allison) Why that?
Maya: Brings out your eyes.
Riley: Why would I wanna take out my eyes?
Maya: She's not taking out her eyes.
Riley: (Allison takes out an eyelash curler) And I think she is. (Points to Allison)
Allison: It's an eyelash curler. It doesn't even hurt. (Holds out the eyelash curler)
Riley: (Takes the eyelash curler and examines it) I have eyelashes.
Maya: Watch this.
Riley: (Clamps the curler on her eyelashes) Ahhhhh!
Maya: Anybody else would stop.
Riley: (Clamps the curler on her eyelashes again) Ahhhhh!
Cory: (Enters) Open it.
Riley: (Opens the eyelash curler) Thanks, Daddy.
Cory: Yeah, okay. (Exits)
Riley: Yeah, okay (Hands the curler to Addison)
Farkle: (Enters) Ladies.
Maya and Riley: (In unison) Farkle.
Farkle: School dance. I'm gonna put you both down for Dance Numbers one through all of them. We will alternate. You and me, me and you. When you're not dancing with me, you may not dance with anyone else. So you may sit and wait until you dance with me again.
Maya: Yeah, none of this is happening.
Farkle: Well, may I have one dance with each of you?
Riley: Sure.
Farkle: Ha! That's all I wanted. You just got played by Farkle. (Exits)
Lucas: (Enters) Hey guys!
Riley: (Raises her hand) Lucas!
Maya: Hand.
Riley: (Loudly) Lucas!
Maya: Grown-up voice.
Riley: (Walks up to Lucas) Lucas, hello.
Lucas: Hey.
Maya: Hey, yeehaw. You going to Tick-Tock Shake Your Body Time, cause, you know, it's not a square dance, so, not gonna be a whole lot of do-si-doing.
Lucas: Well then, I'm sure I'll have no idea what to do and you can make fun of me.
Maya: (Points at him) You're not playing this right.
Lucas: (Puts down her hand) Oh, well that's certainly not my intention. I'll try harder next time.
Maya: I will break you.
Lucas: Well, if that's what makes you happy, then. I certainly can't wait for it, (Tips imaginary hat) ma'am.
Maya: (Shudders in annoyance and turns away)
Riley: You going to the school dance, Lucas?
Lucas: Thought I would. You?
Maya: (Makes a gagging sound, and Riley turns around) You hear me? ''(Makes the sound again) You'll both be there. He'll be the one in a cowboy hat going like this. (Does a dance)
Lucas: (Bell rings) So, you going to class?
Riley: Thought I would. You? (Walks away with Lucas, while Maya is still dancing)
Maya: (Everyone claps her on, then she stops) It isn't for you. (Everyone keeps clapping her on) Okay, fine. (Starts dancing again)
Title Sequence. Then: Interior. Matthews' Apartment. Auggie and Topanga are reading a book.
Riley: (Enters) Mom, can I ask you a question?
Auggie: You can ask me a question.
Riley: It's a girl thing, Auggie.
Auggie: You think I don't know about girls?
Riley: Okay. I'm at a certain age where... (Auggie cuts her off)
Auggie: I don't care. (Exits)
Topanga: (Riley sits down) You're at a certain age?
Riley: You had to know this was going to happen?
Topanga: I know a lot of things are going to happen. Which one is this?
Riley: Makeup.
Topanga: (Relieved) Oh. Good.
Riley: I can have some?
Topanga: (Shakes her head) No.
Riley: Why not?
Topanga: Well, because makeup leads to other things, that I... (Riley cuts her off)
Riley: We have our first school dance on Friday night.
Topanga: (Nods her head) And we're there. (Auggie peeks out from behind the door and starts sneaking around)
Riley: What's the difference between daytime makeup and nighttime makeup?
Topanga: No difference. Because you're not wearing any.
Riley: But, what about when I do?
Topanga: When we decide that you're at the right age to start wearing makeup... (Riley cuts her off)
Riley: Friday?
Topanga: No. You might find that you prefer a more natural look during the day. Some women prefer to go a bit bolder at night. You are not allowed to hang out with those women.
Riley: I wanna paint my face!
Topanga: Wait. The dance is Friday?
Riley: You're doing that thing with your voice.
Topanga: But, Friday is the last night for the Coney Island Cyclone.
Riley: But it's our first dance, and Dad takes me to ride the roller coaster a bunch of times, right?
Topanga: You're father thinks of it as a tradition.
Riley: How bad is this?
Topanga: You're father thinks of it as the reason he wakes up in the morning.
Riley: Maybe he won't remember it this year.
Cory: (Enters) Three days 'til Cyclone day!
Topanga: When's my birthday?
Cory: 148 days from Cyclone day.
Topanga: (Turns to Riley) Good luck to you.
Auggie: (Enters) Daddy!
Cory: Auggie! (Lifts him up) Tell me stuff!
Auggie: Riley wants to wear makeup.
Riley: Hey, little spy.
Cory: (Turns to Riley) Don't call him a spy, he is not a spy!
Auggie: I am a spy, you made me a card. (Pulls out a card that says "AUGGIE SPY")
Cory: Alright, he is a spy. And guess what? He's working for me, and he just got promoted. (Hands him a card that says "AUGGIE SUPER SPY")
Auggie: (Takes the card and looks at it) Super spy! (Throws his hands in the air)
Riley: Dad.
Cory: Yeah?
Riley: Dad. (Hugs him)
Cory: (To Auggie) Hey, super spy, tell me stuff.
Auggie: Riley wants to go to the school dance on, dun dun dun, Cyclone night.
Cory: Oh. Wow. It's the same night? I understand. I understand completely. I'm sorry, you'll have to miss the dance.
Topanga: Try again.
Cory: I'm sorry, you'll have to miss the dance. (Turns to Topanga) No, same thing. (Sits down)
Riley: But it's my first dance, Dad.
Cory: (Clutches his heart)
Topanga: Oh, boy.
Cory: No, no. I'm down with this. (To Topanga) Yeah, I said that.
Riley: Dad, when it comes to this stuff, I don't think there's anything you can teach me.
Topanga: Oh, boy.
Cory: (Clutches his chest with both arms)
Riley: I'm growing up, Dad.
Topanga: Oh, boy.
Cory: Goodbye. (Lays down on the couch)
Auggie: You're breaking him!
Riley: You were a great father to me when I was a kid. Don't take this the wrong way, Dad, but there's just some things that Mom can actually teach me, like, what do you know about makeup?
Cory: I know it's what you're gonna have to do with me. (Exits)
Riley: Mom.
Topanga: That went better than I thought!
Interior. John Quincy Adams Middle School History classroom. Students are entering.
Cory: (Lucas enters) Friar! (Farkle enters) Farkle! (Maya enters) Hart! (Riley enters) You.
Riley: Dad, I... (Cory cuts her off)
Cory: (Makes the closed mouth signal with his hand.)
Riley: Okay. (Walks to her desk)
Cory: Well, guys. I've got your test results on Darwin to give back to you, and uh, I'm pleased to see some of you have "evolved" since the last quiz. (Waits for the students to laugh, but no one does)
Farkle: Ha!
Cory: Thanks, Farkle.
Farkle: Well, you were drowning, sir.
Cory: (Passes the papers out to the students) Ms. Hart. (Hands Maya's test to her) Mr. Friar. (Hands Lucas' test to him) Nice work.
Lucas: Thank you, sir.
Cory: Mr. Farkle. (Hands Farkle's test to him)
Farkle: A number 700. Huzzah! (Takes out a noisemaker)
Cory: You. (Hands Riley's test to her)
Riley: (To Maya) You okay?
Maya: He gave me an F.
Riley: That's nuts, you're a solid D student.
Cory: Mr. Friar, I took particular note of your position that evolution does not preclude the existence of... How did you put it?
Lucas: A guiding hand that has your best interest at heart.
Maya: (Raises her hand)
Cory: Yes, Ms. Hart.
Maya: You failed me.
Cory: Why don't we talk about this after class?
Maya: What's there to talk about? You failed me. (Stands up) You think I'm a failure. (Takes the test paper) There's nothing more for you to teach me.
Cory: Oh, come on, both of you gotta say that? (Looks at Riley)
Maya: (Exits)
Cory: What, you mean I lost you both? Maya! (Maya turns around) You do not walk out of here.
Maya: (Exits)
Riley: (Raises her hand)
Cory: Go.
Riley: (Exits)
Cory: (Everyone raises their hand) No!
Interior. John Quincy Adams Middle School hallway. Maya is cleaning out her locker.
Riley: Redecorating your locker?
Maya: Nope. (Takes a doll body and puts it below her chin) Cleaning it out! You want one? Because it's the last one you're gonna get. (Music plays as she puts a paper stick in a cotton candy machine, then hands it to Riley)
Riley: Maya, it's just one F.
Maya: It's not about the paper, Riley. Your dad failed me.
Riley: Yeah, I know, and, I'm not going on the Cyclone, I failed him. Can we just call it even?
Maya: Nope, we can just call it I'm leaving.
Riley: Maya, I know you. You'll make a big deal about of this, pretend to leave school forever, and you'll be back by gym class.
Maya: No. This time I mean it. (Walks away)
Riley: Alright Maya, I'll see you tomorrow.
Maya: (Turns around) No, you won't.
Riley: You'll pick me up at seven!
Maya: I won't be there.
Interior. Matthews' apartment. Cory is watching a video of him and Riley on the Cyclone on his laptop.
Auggie: (Enters) Okay, buddy?
Cory: (Pauses the video) I lost the two most important girls in my life.
Topanga: (Looks up from her book) How ya doing?
Cory: I still got that one.
Topanga: I'm hanging on.
Auggie: But I'll always be here for you, Daddy. (Sits down next to Cory) Me and you, together forever.
Cory: Thank you, Auggie. But you know that's really not the way it works, right?
Auggie: I know. (Him and Cory hold their chests)
Topanga: (Sits down beside Cory) Aww, my two sad little men.
Auggie: (Whispers to Topanga) I'm not really sad, I'm just doing it for him.
Topanga: (Whispers to Auggie) I know.
Auggie: (Whispers to Topanga) You got this?
Topanga: (Whispers to Auggie) I got.
Auggie: (Exits)
Cory: You got this, Topanga? Are you gonna make this better?
Topanga: (Lays her head on his shoulder)
Cory: (He unpauses the video)
Topanga: (After watching it for a bit, she pauses it again and closes the laptop)
Cory: We always get the very last ride of the season. And I know once we stop going, we're never going back.
Topanga: Honey, it's just for this year.
Cory: No, Topanga, this is exactly how traditions end. Once we got moving on that ride, you should've heard her. Weee! Ahhh! Weee! The best part, was right before the big drop. I mean, you're going up, and it starts slowing down, but you know what's coming. Riley, she starts leaning in closer to me. She puts her arms around me, and holds on. What else is ever gonna be like that?
Topanga: Life.
Cory: Oh, besides that!
Topanga: Cory, her first dance is hardly the end of your relationship.
Cory: She said I have nothing left to teach her. Our daddy-daughter story is, over. Her and Maya, gone. They both moved on without me. They got married. They have children now. They live in California by some other roller coaster.
Topanga: Please. You know, no matter what, you are always going to be there. I mean, even if all someone wants is a little bit of alone time, which is normal for a woman, you are there. (Pauses) Always. (Pauses again) California.
Interior. Riley's Bedroom. Maya is applying for an online school.
Riley: You made your point, okay? You didn't come to school today, and your teacher is really upset with you.
Maya: He's not my teacher anymore. I now attend a prestigious online academy.
Man with Brooklyn accent: Welcome to the Frank Mantucci on da computer school, where youse get out of it what you put into it. And what you need to put into it is 400 dollars. Gimme.
Riley: You paid that?
Maya: Free trial. I took the test to see if I qualify for the free trial.
Riley: Maya, it's a scam, they take anybody.
Man with Brooklyn accent: Congatulations!
Maya: I got in!
Man with Brooklyn accent: You are the first person to ever fail the Frank Mantucci on da computer school. How'd you do dat?
Riley: (Mimics) How'd you do dat?
Man with Brooklyn accent: We asked: "Name?" You didn't put nuttin'.
Riley: Well, at least you were smart enough not to give them your name.
Maya: It's not that I'm smart enough.
Riley: Then what is it?
Maya: Maybe sometimes, I'm not so proud of who I am.
Topanga: (Enters) How's it going in here?
Riley: Mom, tell Maya to come back to school. Regular school.
Topanga: Hmm, so, you don't like this, huh?
Riley: Of course not! Maya always comes to school with me. She always picks me up at seven. I look forward to it.
Topanga: Like a tradition.
Riley: Yeah! Oh. You know, even though you're a mother, that was creepy good.
Topanga: So, Maya doesn't show up like she's supposed to and how does that make you feel?
Riley: Oh. (Puts her hand on her heart)
Topanga: Honey, you have to go to him. He feels bad. You have to go to your father.
Maya: I feel bad. Will he come to me?
Riley: No. He's your teacher. He doesn't have to.
Topanga: But he will.
Maya: What?
Topanga: He doesn't have to, but he will.
Riley: Why?
Topanga: Because he's always there.
Cory: (Enters and holds his hand out to Maya. Maya takes it and they exit)
Topanga: Always. (Riley lays her head on her shoulder)
Interior. Matthews' apartment. Maya is sitting at the kitchen table.
Cory: (Hands a paper to Maya) Read it.
Maya: I don't wanna do this, Mr. Matthews. (Stands up)
Riley: Sit down.
Maya: You can't tell me what...
Riley: I just did.
Maya: (Sits down)
Riley: Thanks. (Sits down next to Maya) Go ahead.
Maya: Darwin animal studies were thought to be when the travels he took on the boat with the Beatles.
Riley: Are you kidding me?
Maya: Does she have to be here? (Points to Riley)
Cory: What were you trying to do?
Maya: I tried to write it like I was smart.
Riley: You are smart.
Cory: What did you mean to say?
Maya: Darwin studied animals.
Cory: What kind?
Maya: I don't know.
Riley: She does know.
Maya: I don't know, you think I don't know what I don't know?
Riley: I think you know more than you don't know, but you don't know that!
Maya: You know what?
Riley: What did Darwin study?
Maya: Birds.
Cory: There you go.
Riley: Really? I got that one wrong.
Cory: You wanna be smart, Maya? Say what you mean. I understood that perfectly, and you're correct.
Maya: That's all I had to say?
Cory: What was the name of his boat?
Maya: The Beatles.
Cory: The Beagle, it's a tiny difference, but an important one. Because if you know it, Maya, you don't fail.
Maya: I want to not fail.
Cory: What kind of birds did he study?
Maya: I don't know.
Riley: You do.
Maya: Finches.
Riley: And what else?
Maya: Finches and mockingbirds.
Cory: Yes.
Riley: Yes.
Cory: How did you know she knew? (Topanga enters in the background)
Riley: I know she listens to you.
Maya: I listen to you.
Cory: Then you won't fail. And then neither will I.
Topanga: How about some turkey sandwiches?
Maya: Darwin didn't study turkeys. He studied finches and mockingbirds. His boat was the Beagle.
Cory: And for extra credit?
Maya: Galapagos. The islands he studied were the Galapagos.
Cory: Because she listens to me. Hey, Maya. Watch this. (Writes on her test)
Maya: You're giving me an A?
Cory: No, I'm giving you a C+. But I want you to see how easily an F can become an A.
Riley: Nothing to be ashamed of anymore, Maya.
Maya: My dad doesn't live with...
Riley: It's okay.
Maya: He's got this new family.
Topanga: Maya, you don't have to...
Maya: I do have to. I have to be able to talk to you. If you give me an F, if you decide I'm not worth working on...
Cory: Maya, take a look around you. We're all here for you. Does this look like we think you're not worth working on?
Maya: I just don't wanna fail, Mr. Matthews. Thank you.
Riley: I don't wanna go to the dance. The dance doesn't matter to me at all. I want to go on the Cyclone with you more than anything in the world!
Cory: You're going to the dance.
Riley: (Wistfully) Hooray.
Cory: I'm going to chaperone.
Riley: (Raises her hand) What's that mean?
Maya: Hand.
Riley: (Loudly) What's that mean?
Maya: Grown-up voice.
Riley: Lucas, hello.
Cory: What's that mean?
Interior. John Quincy Adams Middle School gymnasium. It's the "Tick-Tock Shake Your Body Time" school dance, and Riley and Lucas are dancing to soft pop music. Farkle is dancing with Maya.
Riley: You're a really good dancer, Lucas.
Lucas: Thanks, so are you.
Riley: Look, everyone's copying us. (She looks around, and everyone is dancing the same as them)
Maya: (Farkle and Maya pass Riley and Lucas again) The hat's just for me, isn't it? You actually put thought into our little game, don't you?
Lucas: I actually do. (Puts a rose in her mouth)
Maya: (Shudders)
Farkle: (Puts the rose in his mouth and shudders back)
Cory: (Music ends, and everybody claps) Well, guys, it looks like the night is winding down. We hope you all enjoyed the dance. But before we go, I notice some fathers have arrived to pick up their daughters. I wonder if we might have one last dance. (Clapping) A father-daughter dance. (Soft music plays, then Cory approaches Riley, but she steps out of the way so he's facing Maya) May I please have this dance? (Maya takes his hand, and they step to the center of the floor. After a bit, Cory holds out his other hand to Riley, and she takes it)
Riley: Looks like maybe we have a new tradition.
Cory: That's okay. Traditions are supposed to evolve. Just like daughters. Sometimes daughters just need... What was that again, Mr. Friar? (Turns to Lucas)
Lucas: A guiding hand that has your best interest at heart.
Riley: There's still a whole lot I need you to teach me, dad.
Cory: Thank you, Riley.
Maya: There's still a whole lot I need you to teach me, too.
Riley: Hey, he's my father.
Maya: Whatever you say.
Riley: You do know that you're my father, right?
Cory: Yeah, I'm your father. Thank you, Riley.
Riley: How's that for makeup?
Cory: Perfect. (Continues dancing with Riley and Maya)
Interior. Matthews' apartment. The family is eating breakfast.
Cory: Riley, I never want our daddy-daughter story to end.
Riley: Neither do I, dad.
Topanga: It doesn't end. In any good book, you turn the page and there's another chapter.
Auggie: Daddy, since Riley's too big for you, maybe we could do something every year.
Cory: Of course, Auggie. What do you have in mind?
Auggie: You and me. A singles cruise to Alaska.
Topanga: Well, I guess some traditions are meant to change.
Maya: (Enters) 'Sup, goofballs? Hey, Riley. 7:00.
Cory: And some should always remain the same. (Maya and Riley exit)

Transcribed by Maddieeliza

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.