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Girl Meets Rileytown/Transcript

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The following is the transcript for Girl Meets Rileytown.

Interior. The Matthews' House. Riley's Bedroom. Riley is bundled up in her bed when Maya enters
Riley: Cough, cough. Sniffle.
Maya: No, no, no, no. You can't be sick. I don't know how to do this life thing alone.
Riley: I think I have the foo foo plague.
Maya: You do? And what do you take for that?
Riley: Foo foo medicine. And it makes you really sleepy. 'Night 'Night. Bye. (hides under the covers)
Maya: Okay, so I'm looking up your fake disease on the fake internet...
Riley: Can I have a sick day, please?
Maya: It wants to know if you have a crushing weight on your chest. Do you have a crushing weight?
Riley: Yep. Crushing weight. Yep, yep. (yelps as Maya sits on her) Oh, no! Oh, no! Maya, I really do. I have the foo foos! It's like there's an elephant on my chest.
Maya: I am at most a labradoodle. (pulls the covers out from Riley)
Riley: Maya, you have to get far, far away from me. I don't want you to catch this.
Maya: I know. That would be terrible. (gets into bed and rolls all over Riley) Okay, now can we please go to school now and get out of Rileytown? (Riley has a stunned look on her face) What? I just said, "Can we get out of Rileytow--" (Riley shoves Maya off her bed) Oof. What is it with you? That's just a word I made up.
Riley: I know what it means. It means that I'm goofy and silly and weird.
Maya: It means you're unique.
Riley: I don't want to be unique. I don't want anybody to notice me.
Maya: Since when? Rileytown is where you live. We even made your own flag and national anthem, remember? (pulls out a flag and sings) Rileytown, oh Rileytown. Whee. Yeah, that took us four days to write. (Riley gets out of bed and confronts Maya) Is this serious or are we having fun?
Riley: You are a bully.
Maya: Okay, that's not fun.
Riley: I don't like being laughed at, Maya. Nobody likes being laughed at.
Maya: I'm not laughing at you. Who's laughing at you?
Riley: You never should have come up with it, and you're a bully. Okay? (leaves bedroom)
Theme song.
Interior. John Quincy Adams Middle School. Mr. Matthews' History Classroom.
Cory: In what ways do human beings resolve conflict?
Zay: Bring in the mama.
Farkle: They talk it out.
Lucas: They go to war.
Farkle: Why can't they talk it out?
Lucas: They go to war.
Zay: Oh, okay. You and me against Farkle. (shakes with Lucas)
Farkle: They talk it out.
Lucas: They go to war!
Zay: Let's get him!
Farkle: (gets a styrofoam ball gun and shoots at Lucas and Zay) You shoulda talked it out.
Cory: Many conflicts escalate and do not end well. The story of Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr is a prime example. Anybody know what happened? Riley?
Riley: Please stop picking on me.
Cory: What?
Farkle: They had a duel. Burr killed Hamilton.
Cory: In 1791, Burr captured a senate seat from Hamilton's father-in-law, which launched their rivalry. Then Burr accused Hamilton of publicly insulting him. (Riley receives a text on her phone) Riley, no one should be texting you in class.
Riley: I agree (turns to Maya and says) I don't want you to say "Rileytown" anymore.
Maya: I like Rileytown. I like you and I like to say whatever I want.
Cory: Now, Burr challenged Hamilton to a duel to resolve their conflict.
Riley: Maybe that's what we should do.
Maya: Maybe you want to hear what happened to them first.
Cory: Hamilton believed the duel wasn't morally right, so he fired his pistol in the air. Burr, believing he had been shot at, fired at Hamilton and killed him. So, why am I telling you guys a story about what happens when you fail to resolve a conflict peacefully? (Lucas has his hand up) Lucas?
Lucas: People get hurt.
Cory: What do we need to learn?
Riley: I need to learn how to resolve a conflict.
Cory: What's going on?
Maya: She thinks I'm a bully because I keep saying something she doesn't like.
Cory: A bully isn't someone who says something you don't like. A bully is someone who uses power and intimidation to hurt others. There's a big difference between having a conflict with a friend and having a bully. So don't just throw that word around.
Riley: There are other words you shouldn't just throw around, either.
Maya: What? Like Rileytown, the place where you live because you're there right now?
Riley: I asked you not to. Why do we have to keep on talking about this?
Cory: Because the most powerful tool in the human being arsenal is the ability to solve conflict with words.
Riley: (to Maya) You think I'm goofy, silly and weird.
Maya: No kidding. You're unique and wonderful, and I love it here in Rileytown.
Riley: (stands up to Maya and says) I challenge you to a duel.
Cory: Okay, you're not really understanding this at all. Maya, please help her understand.
Maya: (stands up to Riley) I accept. Duel to the death.
Cory: Thank you very much.
Interior.' Topanga's. Riley and Maya are about to duel with ice cream cones as weapons'
Farkle: (in Southern accent, saying to Riley) You will come back to me after the war, won't you, Darlin'?
Riley: Just give me the ice cream, Farkle.
Maya: (to Lucas) Why are you my second, Huckleberry? Shouldn't you be over there with Riley?
Lucas: Well, it was decided if things get out of hand, I was the best choice to... contain you.
Maya: Oh. You think you can?
Lucas: Yeah, but I'll probably pay for it pretty good.
Cory: (to Topanga) Why would you let them do this?
Topanga: Oh, it's a slow day and the ice cream expires Tomorrow.
Maya: (scratches her backside against Riley's)
Riley: What are you doing?
Maya: I'm itchy.
Zay: Maya, as the one challenged to this duel, you get the first shot. All right, you'll take three paces, turn, and fire.
Farkle: How do you know how to do this so well, Zay?
Zay: Well, back in Texas, we call this a Wednesday. Ice cream ready? One... two... three... turn... Fire! Wait a minute. Something's wrong. (Farkle and Lucas pull him away from Riley and Maya's path) Oh, that would have been bad. Fire!
Maya: (gives her ice cream cone to Cory)
Cory: That's the best way to resolve a conflict I ever saw. (licks ice cream cone) This tastes one day before expired.
Topanga: Riley, take a hint, please, so we can all be done with this.
Riley: (to Maya) This will be done when you treat me like an ordinary person who nobody notices.
Maya: You're not. You're a sweet, weird little goofball and I love you just the way you are. Deal with it. (wants to give Riley a hug but Riley smears an ice cream cone in her face and walks out; Lucas dries her face with a towel) No need to contain me, Lucas. I'm fine.
Lucas: How are you fine? You don't look fine.
Maya: Because that's not Riley at all. Something's really wrong. Mr. and Mrs. Matthews... Riley and I have a conflict. It won't teach us anything if you guys step in.
Cory: Okay. We're here if you need us.
Maya: I know.
Lucas: Why are you so calm?
Maya: Because this isn't her. This isn't Riley at all.
Zay: Well, what could have changed her all of a sudden?
Farkle: This is like when I always used to wear my turtlenecks and then there was somebody that didn't like that I... (realizes) Oh, my Gosh.
Maya: What?
Lucas: (notices Farkle staring at him) What are you looking at?
Farkle: You gots to go.
Lucas: What?
Farkle: We need more towels.
Lucas: What?
Farkle: Maya needs more towels.
Maya: I'm fine.
Farkle: (to Lucas) Get her more towels!
Lucas: Okay.
Zay: Yes, sir.
Maya: What's going on?
Farkle: Of course she loves Rileytown. Of course she's weird and goofy and unique. That's what we all love about her.
Maya: So what's the problem?
Farkle: Somebody doesn't.
Maya: What?
Farkle: Riley doesn't want to be her because she feels like a nothing. Because a bully makes you feel like a nothing. A bully took something I liked about myself and made me feel bad about it.
Maya: But why would she think I would ever do that? I'm her best friend. Why is she yelling at me?
Farkle: Because I think she's trying to get you to hear her.
Maya: Hear what? Why does she keep talking about a bully if she knows I'm not-- (realizes) What? Oh, no. (leaves; Lucas and Zay return with towels)
Zay: What? She's gone?
Farkle: Yep.
Lucas: Well, what are we supposed to do with these towels?
Farkle: They're not for Maya.
Lucas: Well, who are they for?
Farkle: They're for you.
Lucas: What? (Farkle is tying Lucas' hands to the counter) Farkle, what are you doing? Stop--
Farkle: Don't... mistake my size and demeanor for a lack of crazy because I got it and I'll use it. So stay where you are.
Lucas: Okay.
Farkle: I am your best friend and I need you to trust me.
Zay: Uh-uh. I'm his best friend.
Farkle: If you were his best friend, you'd know to tie him up right now.
Zay: Look, I'mma just do it. I don't need an explanation.
Farkle: (to Lucas) I'm gonna tell you something bad and I need you to not turn into Texas Lucas.
Lucas: (chuckles) Farkle, nothing is going to turn me back into that.
Farkle: Something's happening to Riley.
Lucas: What?
Interior. The Matthews' House. Riley's Bedroom. Riley is sitting in the bay window when Maya enters.
Maya: We have something to talk about, you and me.
Riley: I don't like it when we fight.
Maya: I'm going to be your best friend for the rest of your life. We're gonna have some conflicts along the way.
Riley: What will we do?
Maya: We will work them out. We'll always work them out because we're friends. And if things get rough, maybe we'll throw some ice cream at each other, but we'll still be friends because that's what reasonable people do.
Riley: So we have no conflict anymore?
Maya: No. Now we have a new one. Why wouldn't you come to me? How could you not come to me if someone is bullying you?
Riley: I'm humiliated, Maya. I didn't want to let you see me humiliated.
Maya: You thought it would just go away?
Riley: Mm-hmm. It's getting worse.
Maya: You know what the difference is between a conflict with a bully and a conflict with a friend?
Riley: What? (Maya gives Riley a hug) You're the worst bully ever, Peaches.
Maya: (chuckles) I know. Peaches the bully just... doesn't strike fear into the hearts of anybody.
Riley: I called you a bully and I ice creamed you. I'm really sorry.
Maya: It's okay.
Riley: Will you get back at me for the ice cream?
Maya: Oh, yeah, and you're never gonna see it coming.
Riley: Couldn't you tell me just before you were gonna do it?
Maya: No, Honey. That would hurt my enjoyment.
Riley: I'm sorry I took everything out on you.
Maya: It's okay. You had to take it out on somebody. I'm glad you felt safe enough to take it out on me. And I'm sorry I didn't hear what you were trying to say earlier.
Riley: Well, I will never go at you again.
Maya: No, it's okay. I can take it. Let it all out.
Riley: I'm better now.
Maya: Oh, yeah. I'm sure you are. That's good. Rileytown.
Riley: Stop saying that! People shouldn't make fun of other people. What did I ever do to you? (stands up) You exist. You exist, and you're weird, and you get in the way of where I'm looking, so stop being weird and stop being happy. Nobody should be as happy as you. (cries) Stop being who you are... or I'm gonna put my foot in your weird, stupid face.
Maya: Okay.
Riley: (cries) I'm fine.
Maya: I'm not. How long?
Riley: A few weeks. (sobs) This has been going on a few weeks.
Maya: Riles, I got you.
Riley: I tried dealing with her, Maya. She's not a reasonable person. How do I handle this? I don't know how to handle this.
Maya: Not alone.
Riley: But I thought I was supposed to learn how to resolve a conflict.
Maya: You have a bully!
Riley: And I have conflict?
Maya: You are incredibly screwy.
Riley: And I'm screwy, and I have a bully, and I have a conflict? What a tough day in Rileytown.
Maya: Okay. So now we know two things. First, you are going to stay exactly who you are.
Riley: What else?
Maya: I don't think Lucas will.
Interior.' Topanga's.'
Farkle: (to Lucas) So, I wanted to make sure you were tied up because I know how you were in Texas and I was worried about what would happen when you found out about what someone was doing to Riley and got angry. (to Zay) Did I do the right thing, Zay?
Zay: No.
Farkle: What did I do wrong?
Zay: Well, you used towels.
Farkle: What should I have used?
Zay: Ah, it wouldn't matter.
Lucas: (breaks off of one counter with his right arm)
Farkle: Well, look at dat.
Lucas: (breaks off of the other counter with his left arm, unties himself and leaves)
Zay: It's been my experience that when it comes to protecting his friends, nothing can hold him back.
Interior. The Matthews' House. Riley's Bedroom. Riley and Maya are barricading the bay window from Lucas.
Maya: Okay. This oughta hold him.
Lucas: (breaks through the stuff barricading the window and says to Riley) Why would you not tell me about this?
Riley: I should be able to fight my own battles, Lucas.
Lucas: No, you shouldn't. And you don't have to, Riley. That's the point of having friends. And did you really think there was anything you could put in this window to keep me from helping you?
Riley: We don't like it when you get like this. Tell him, Maya.
Maya: Um... Lucas, pick up that bed with one arm.
Farkle: (enters) Riley, you wouldn't let me keep this kind of stuff to myself. You think we're gonna let you?
Zay: (opens door with a bowl of cereal) So what? You guys just come through the window and that's okay? I don't like it. Impolite. Oh, and I took some cereal. You're out of milk... now.
Lucas: I don't think it's right that Riley's always the first one to come help us but doesn't come to us when she needs help.
Riley: Okay. I'm sorry. I should have told you. I just didn't want to put this on you.
Farkle: We're friends. We can figure out anything.
Riley: But what if you're dealing with someone who-- (Riley receives another text on her phone) who just won't stop?
Interior. John Quincy Adams Middle School. Mr. Matthews' History Classroom.
Cory: I want to talk to you. I know there's something going on.
Riley: Do you want me to tell you what it is?
Cory: Do you want to, Riley? Because so far, you haven't told me, and I respect that.
Maya: It ain't good.
Cory: Yeah, I figured. But you're on it?
Maya: Yes.
Cory: (to Lucas) And you're on it?
Lucas: Yep.
Cory: The right way?
Lucas: We'll see.
Cory: The right way, Lucas. You know why? Because Aaron Burr might have won his duel by killing his rival, but he never held office again and he'll forever be known for this. You understand?
Lucas: Yes, sir.
Cory: Farkle?
Farkle: Everything will be okay, Mr. Matthews. It always is.
Cory: Yeah, why do you suppose it always is? Zay? (Zay looks puzzled) It's on the board.
Zay: The first one. (reads "Friendship")
Cory: That's right.
Zay: And then you're going to tell us about the second one. (reads "Growth")
Cory: I am.
Zay: Yeah, I know how this goes.
Cory: There's nothing more valuable than friends when you have to go through life. But even if your friends aren't around, even if you're all alone, there's always someone to turn to. A parent or a teacher. It's okay to ask for help. That's because there's so much out there that makes its way to you guys so much easier now.
Riley: How do we fight that?
Cory: Well, now we turn to growth. Rely on each other. Grow together. But sometimes you have to grow by yourself. But whatever it is that makes it's way to you, it's just shadows from your intimidating world. Don't live in the shadow. Your growth can help you get back into the sun.
Riley: Thanks, Dad.
Cory: Sarah, Darby, Jade, Yindra, Wyatt, Jeffrey, Haley, Nate, Yogi, Dave, Clarissa, know there are lots of groups of friends in here and I know you guys go through stuff, too. Your math teacher helps you guys out, right? And relates Algebra to your lives? You guys okay? Learn from each other. Continue to grow. And always know that I'm here for you. (bell rings and Riley and Maya exit with their arms around each other)
Interior.' Topanga's.'
Lucas: I know what Mr. Matthews says is right, but, Riley, if you want me to, whoever this is, I will take care of it for you.
Riley: Thank you, Lucas. No.
Maya: Riley and I got this.
Riley: Thank you, Maya. No.
Zay: Okay, good. You're gonna face this one down, but how?
Riley: You know what she sent me? A video of me being goofy... doing the stuff that I do. She's been filming me... and now she says she's gonna send it to the whole school.
Maya: Honey, I hate to break it to you, but the whole school already knows you're goofy.
Riley: They don't know everything I do. Neither do you, Maya.
Maya: What? No-- Yes, I do.
Riley: Deep in the heart of Rileytown, in the darkest secret corner of Rileytown... I can't believe I'm finally telling you. Once a week... on Friday afternoons... when the halls are empty... I have an awards ceremony.
Farkle: I think we know what happened.
Lucas: Somebody caught you...
Maya: And that's what she's sending to the whole school. Well, maybe it's not so bad--
Riley: Sometimes I pretend I'm not there to accept, so French Riley accepts in my place.
Maya: It's bad. It's really bad.
Riley: (speaking in French accent) Bonjour.
Lucas: Somebody doesn't love this?
Riley: What do I do, Maya?
Maya: Uh... you look at your friends... and you realize that no matter how deep into Rileytown you go, we'll all be right behind you. Now go get her.
Interior. John Quincy Adams Middle School. Friday Afternoon. Riley confronts her bully.
Riley: Thank you for meeting me. I know you probably have something to say. You always have something to say. But now, it's my turn to talk. You need to listen. You need to watch. Welcome to Rileytown. (twirls) I twirl around when I'm happy. (twirls again) I dance by myself. (does a silly dance) Because that's who I am. And if I do something good, I give awards to myself so that maybe I'll do something good again. And you're not going to stop me by showing everybody your little video that shows everybody that I do it. Because I'm going to show everybody right now. (Riley's classmates are right behind her) Welcome back to the Riley Awards. And now, your host, British Riley!
Maya: (waves) Hi, British Riley.
Riley: (speaking with British accent) And now, the biggest award of the evening. This here award is for not only facing your fear, but doing it in front of everybody I know in my awful accent. (opens pretend envelope) And the winner is... Riley! (in normal voice) I'd like to thank everybody who helped me get here... My friends. Because true friends let you be who you are. I'd also like to thank you. Because this was hard. But I've grown Today, So, thank you. (the bully runs away) Hey, where are you going?
Maya: Look, Riles, the farther away she goes, the smaller she gets.
Interior.' Topanga's.'
Riley: We did good.
Cory: Friendship and growth.
Riley: What comes next?
Cory: I don't know, but whatever it is, I know you'll handle it.
Riley: Here we are at the Riley Awards after party, where we've been having ice cream. Because I challenged Maya to a duel, and then I ice creamed her, and then she said she'd get me back, And I'd never see it coming? Is that why we're having ice cream? (Camera shows Zay, Farkle, Lucas and Maya with ice cream cones but Maya's cone suspiciously has six scoops)

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